Friendship Re-evaluation

As part of my “Welcome to 2016” post in January, I mentioned that I wanted to re-evaluate my relationships. So this week, I spent time thinking about some very important relationships in my life, my friendships.

I began my reflection by asking myself several questions; who are my friends, what makes each of my friends valuable to me, what is it that I appreciate about these friends, and what would life be like without them?

I have not always had friends. As a child, I moved very frequently. When you are consistently the new kid in town, it is hard to settle into a school and make lasting connections. Although I learned to make acquaintances at school and in my neighborhood, I did not understand real friendship until I got into high school and met my friend Donna. She has been a wonderful friend ever since.

I thought about who I consider to be friends, not just acquaintances. Then, I reflected on each friend’s personality and character. They are all kind, caring, considerate, and loving. They are a diverse group – short, tall, thin, less thin, dark skinned, lighter skinned, funny, serious, adventurous, athletic, not-athletic, intense, mellow, creative, and intelligent. Despite their many differences, however, these friends have two things in common; they care about me and are committed to our relationship. That makes them very valuable to me.

So, what things do I appreciate about them?

1. They can deal with my unique personality. Many of them deserve a medal for this one.
2. In each friendship, we have faced tough situations together, and those situations have drawn us closer to each other.
3. They have made time for me, even when it was not convenient.
4. When I have not been my best self, my friends have overlooked my flaws and reminded me that it is alright to have bad moments.
5. When I get tunnel vision, they help me see life from different angles.
6. They listen when I need to talk.
7. We can be ourselves – relax, laugh, cry, pray, sigh, and rejoice – when we are with each other. Not to mention, it is never a big deal if crude or strange body noises come out while we are together. Yes, it’s true. I snort when I laugh.
8. No matter how long it has been since we have talked, we can pick up the phone, or sit in a coffee shop, and talk as if no time has passed.
9. They let me love them. I really enjoy giving to and being there for my friends.
10. My friends, consistently, help me become a better person.

This list is only a small part of what I appreciate about them. The entire list would turn this into a really long and tedious blog post.

As for the last question, I don’t want to imagine my life without friends; it would be like a soup without seasoning, bland. Yes, friendships can be challenging and don’t always last or end well. However, the imprint each friend has left is important and valuable to me, no matter how big or small.

For those who are wondering about the results of my friendship re-evaluation, I realized a few relationships have moved out of my friend list and into the acquaintance list. I noticed a few potential friendships have emerged. In addition, I have gained a deeper appreciation for my long-standing friendships.

Feel free to share your comments on friendship, and/or the results of your friend re-evaluation.