This week, my youngest child turned 12 years old. As I watched him celebrate his birthday with blue frosting around his lips and a light-up punching balloon in his hand, I realized how much he had grown this year. The sweet little boy I have loved, cuddled, nurtured, and protected is transforming into a young man, and I am not ready.
He is my 4th child and only son. Two adult children and one teen later, I am all too familiar with the aging process. This year is the year when he will really start to change. So far, he has only gotten taller and a little opinionated, but soon his sweet voice will sink deeper, his bear hugs will get quicker, and his desire to leave will grow stronger. My head knows it’s necessary, but my heart is putting up a fight.
It seems like yesterday, I brought him home from the hospital. An adorable baby with a sweet demeanor, he stole my heart from the moment I saw him. He still has my heart.
I want him to grow into an amazing world changer, but not too quickly. Sometimes, I imagine what he will be like as a man – tall, handsome, smart, brave, and strong. His capacity for love will hopefully be even bigger than it is now, and I pray his character will mirror his compassionate heart. Yes, I think he will be a wonderful man.
Earlier this evening, I sat at our dining room table and helped him construct a Lego® dinosaur set. He opened the kit booklet to the first page, handed me the necessary pieces, and began instructing me on how to put it together. I fussed back at him, “give me a chance to figure it out on my own.” Building it was a 30-minute process, which included several attempts to snatch the parts away from me so he could fix it himself.
Yes, he is becoming a man.
I don’t know how many more Lego® building lessons, movie nights, wrestling wars, cuddle moments, or goodnight kisses we have left, but I am tucking each of them into my memory.
I wish time would slow down a little and let my heart catch up, but it stops for no one.
Happy birthday, son. I love you!