A couple months ago, WAM Media Group, based out of Canada, approached my family and the Hockensmith family about participating in a documentary series called Broken Trust for the Investigation Discovery Channel. One episode would be about our loved ones’ deaths, and it would explore each victim’s relationship with the murderer. Both families agreed to the project, as well as the prosecutor and lead detective in the criminal case.
The production company conducted telephone interviews with several family members of the victims, and 4 family members, including me, agreed to do on-camera interviews.
∗ If you are new to my blog and unfamiliar with my dad’s murder case, please take a few minutes to read my blog post “Our Final Day In Court” before continuing.∗
On Wednesday, I met the video crew, at a rented local apartment, to do my interview.
After talking with the director/interviewer about what she needed from me, signing film and photo release forms, and being fitted with a wireless microphone, we started the interview.
I didn’t know what to expect since this was my first professional on-camera appearance.
I sat in a tall, wood-backed, chair in the middle of the room. A bright light was to my left, a microphone hung above my face, a camera was directly in front of me, and a cameraman, holding a camera, stood to my right. I felt a bit awkward.
The interviewer started by asking questions, several of which I couldn’t answer concerning the Hockensmiths and Keith. I had never met them, and the information I did have about them came from 2nd and 3rd party sources after the murders.
After a few minutes, she began asking me questions about Dad. I breezed through most of the questions until she asked me how I got the news about his death.
I froze for a moment, as the memories and emotions came flooding back.
When we did the pre-interview over the phone a few weeks before, I started sobbing when I was asked about that day. On the telephone, it was easy to be vulnerable because I didn’t have to speak in full sentences, a requirement for the on-camera interview, and I didn’t have to worry about my facial expressions and makeup. I could say whatever came to mind and no one was watching me.
In front of the camera, I felt exposed. My lip started quivering, and my eyes welled up with tears. I kept my composure, despite wanting to wail uncontrollably, and recounted the moment my stepmom, Sally, called me with the news.
The interviewer looked with compassion as I struggled not to cry.
I talked about how much I still miss my dad, wishing he was still here with me.
Then, she asked me about my feelings toward Keith.
“I forgive him,” I said.
I explained how we are all capable of terrible things, given certain circumstances. None of us are immune to our own depraved hearts, apart from God. Keith will have to stand before God one day and explain to God why he murdered my father and the Hockensmiths. Although the legal courts have administered earthly justice, God will be the ultimate judge. I pray for mercy for Keith.
I do not want unforgiveness to hold me back from living a life of love and joy. I am not willing to give Keith that power over me.
The interviewer looked shocked as I continued to talk about forgiveness, love, and mercy.
She later expressed how amazed she was to see my level of genuine forgiveness.
I am not sure what they will use for the documentary, but I hope the production company keeps the forgiveness part.
The segment will air sometime in early 2018. I will let you know when we have a final show date.
Crystal it took a lot of courage for you to do that. I hope this experience has given you some peace in your heart. I know without a doubt it was not easy. I know some days are easier than others. I’m proud of you. Thank you for writing this piece, and please keep me informed on the upcoming shows and programs and proceedings. Thank you for speaking for Dad and all of us.